Molly-Mae Hague and Tommy Fury have come a long way since she spied on him flirting with Maura from behind a house plant in the Love Island villa. He’s found success as a professional boxer, she owns Filter, a fake tan business, and together they’ve churned out more sponcon than several TikTok hype houses put together. Even if Tommy couldn’t make good on his fight with Jake Paul this year, he can console himself with Molly-Mae’s seven-figure deal to become creative director of PrettyLittleThing, the fast fashion behemoth that sells colourful mesh dresses and tiny bags that you say you’re going to return and then never do. Together, they have a combined Instagram following bigger than the population of Sweden.
The US and UK might have a lot in common (a desire to put mayo on everything, awful politics), but one fundamental they differ on is their First Couple; their spokespeople for love, their Mum and Dad. In the US, it is currently Kourtney Kardashian and Travis Barker. In the UK, it’s Kate and Will – JOKING – it’s these two Love Island runners-up who always go on about Harry Potter.
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They might both like shiny 4x4s and say “literally” a lot, but these two couples have curated distinctly different vibes. Kravis have leaned into PDA so much that, short of actually having sex on an IG Live, I’m not quite sure what more they could show us. Meanwhile, during a YouTube assumptions video, Molly responded to fan questions about sex by saying “you guys really, really want to know about mine and Tommy’s sex life and it’s really quite weird” and then pretending to throw up.
A night in with Kravis involves rose petals, personal chefs and extensive tongue licking. The Furys looks like everyone else’s: avocado print Primark pyjamas, a couple of scented candles on the go – some expensive, some from Wicks – while Netflix plays on the telly. Even their grand romantic gestures have something a bit normie about them; a bit “live, laugh, love”, a bit “day out at Trafford Centre”, Franco Manca, Lush bath bombs. On Halloween, the couple put out chocolate eyeball sweets and plastic skeletons. On birthdays, there’s big letter balloons and full English breakfasts–and they always act surprised when they see the decorations, even though they mark every few weeks by filming a “I Surprised My Boyfriend” video.
Watching their content is like FaceTiming an old friend –the wholesome one who never moved out of your suburban hometown to develop a ket habit in London. I was more excited when Molly passed her driving test when I was my own. When they were burgled and someone made off with all their Van Cleef jewellery and Balenciaga, I didn’t laugh like I would have if it were any other millionaire couple. Instead, I was concerned; then I was angry because increased security measures meant there wouldn’t be a “New Apartment Tour” video.
There’s a certain irony to all this. Most of what Molly-Mae and Tommy stand for is what young people are increasingly rallying against: fast fashion, ostentatious displays of wealth, banal girlbossery. Just this year, Molly-Mae has been accused of blackfishing for selling a tan product labelled Extra Dark, and slammed for describing her Gucci North Face puffa as “chav chic”. Even the death of the couple’s Pomeranian puppy saw them both under fire for buying the dog from what many saw as an irresponsible breeder.
But criticism just slides off the couple like an Ugg boot off Molly-Mae’s manicured foot. Their cosy familiarity only serves to insulate them from condemnation; getting mad at them is like getting angry with your extremely basic siblings who still love going to Slug & Lettuce. Molly might be the face of a fashion brand that pays its staff so little they can sell us bikinis that cost £1, but everyone still posts clapping emojis when she secures her latest brand deal. No one cares when they see Tommy Fury banging his chest topless like Tarzan in a nightclub. Even sexist rag the Daily Mail has lightened its touch on them, beginning every article “Molly-Mae wows with [insert designer brand]”.
Tommy and Molly’s basic-ness –their love of McFlurries and showing off their messy bathroom – isn’t an accident, or at least their choice to reveal it isn’t. Their relatability isn’t despite of their success; it’s precisely what feeds it in the same way that Kravis’ dramatic, toe-sucking flamboyance is part of theirs. When Molly revealed in a YouTube video that she turned down a £2m deal with a high street fashion chain because she didn’t actually wear their clothes, everyone hailed her as “authentic” and “real” for picking herself over money. But was she picking herself or did she just know in the long run she’d make more money from her authenticity?
Molly-Mae and Tommy are so good at their jobs they’ve won 2021. I can’t wait for next year when she announces she owns ITV, for when they finally put a deposit down on a house and insulate it entirely in crushed grey velvet. I can’t wait for more knockouts for Tommy and for him to learn how to say “refreshing”. I can’t wait for them to be even happier than they already are, because they are Britain’s first couple, the CEOs, the people’s prince and princess. And also, the reason I have something to watch when I’m cooking dinner.
